Congratulations Class of 2021!

Though they spent their senior year hermetically sealed in a bubble, they lived like kings at the stately 2000 North Broad manor. And after four-ish years at Temple, 23 (Yes, twenty-three!) brothers collected a sheet of paper that may or may not help them find gainful employment.

Our 2021 Spring Graduates with Major, and Employment Prospects

Note: While graduates have been verified by the chapter, most majors and employment plans are entirely speculative.

Justin AddisonStatistics
Walmart “like-new” Undergarments, Assistant to the Assistant Manager

Jared BrownBusiness Administration
BJs Gourmet Bulk Grub Distributors, Food Shoveler

Emmanuel CastroCommerce
Communist Revolutionary

James DillardEnglish
Hustler Magazine, Proofreader

Brett FaralliSustainable Food Systems
Hatfield Meats, Slaughterhouse Supervisor

Colin GilchristTheater
ABC After-school Specials, Acting Impersonator

Patrick GlasstetterLiberal Arts
Mom’s basement, Unpaid resident

Evan HarrantsAsian Pandemic Studies
Wuhan Laboratories, Animal caretaker

Will HelbeckInteractive Game Design
Fortnite, Adult player owned by pre-teens

Trevor LewisComputer Science
General Motors, Catastrophic Collision Division

Tyrese Marquis-BelfieldForeign Service
Sex therapy receptionist

Daniel McShaneEngineering Technology
Derry Farms, Shepherd

Chris NewlinArchaeology
PennDot, Ditch digger

Noah MitchelWooden Ship Building
Below Deck, Yacht Deckhand

Chris NewlinMythology and the Occult
Vegas, Magician’s assistant

Carmen PaoneJazz Studies
Vintage Record Shop, That guy who appreciates vinyl way more than you do

Chris PelcFermentation Sciences
Random Brewing Co., Bar back

Nate PetonakNutrition, Nabisco
Processed Cheese Product Sprayer

Kyle SheahanMarketing
Universal Life Church, Digital Prophet

Mahim SidduquiMass Communications
Mongo Ubercorp, Offshore tech support

Jack TalhelmEconomics
McAdam Financial Advising, Knitcoin Division (targeting old ladies who receive social security)

Andrew TarsaSecondary Ed
Assistant Substitute Teacher, Hair gum removal specialist

Michael TangGynecology
Poon Medical Associates

Jake WolfAnimal Husbandry
Canine Therapist

Alex ZelgerPolitical Science (Fox School of Politics)
Capitol Stormer